i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
a search helicopter?!
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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