you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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