Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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