well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
