Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
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