so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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