i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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