You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I miss vodka workout Fridays
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
