my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
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