have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
