Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
