quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
