just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You need Xanax blowdarts
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
