This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
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