Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
