I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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