I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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