Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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