his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
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