I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
