I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
