can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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