JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
