i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
