Where did you get a picture of my penis
Quick, to the slutcave!
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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