Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
