drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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