Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
