Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
