Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
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