actually, I'm a sock model
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
