Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
