I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
