I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just invented taco cereal.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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