hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I CAN MOONWALK!
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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