Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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