I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
