Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
