Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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