Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
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