He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
