I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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