I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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