so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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