and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
