So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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