toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
