Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
