do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Randomize
