Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
