it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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