i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
