The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Randomize
