You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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