id be glad to
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
