WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
