You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
My vagina is very pro this idea
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
